As the editor of a dating magazine, I see a lot of dating tips from a lot of different sources. Whether it’s experts in psychology and relationships, dating coaches, a bartender, best-selling authors, or someone’s best friend, some of the best dating and relationship advice comes from the most unlikely of places. But sometimes, it helps to got to the most likely place too… In this case, straight to the source. If you’re looking for some good online dating tips for men, why not ask other women who are online dating what tips they would give you?

To help out we surveyed over 3,000 women on the online dating site and app Zoosk and asked what their top online dating tips for men are. What we got was some great insight and some short, but sweet tips men can start using right away.

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Here are their 33 online dating tips for men:

1. “Be honest from the beginning! Kindness truly is hot, so if you’re trying to impress a woman, that’s an excellent place to start.”

2. “Don’t just say hi, personalize your message at least a little. You don’t have to write a novel, but a couple of sentences so that I know you’re aren’t just fishing helps a lot.”

3. “When you take a picture for your profile, make sure we can see your eyes.”

4. “Like, winks, etc. are how women give you the signal to message them.”

5. “If you’re chatting with me and we have a lot in common and you like me, let me know. I want to move forward to see if we should meet.”

6. “Don’t use the word drama in your profile. Life is full of ups and downs—that’s what gives life color and depth. Using that word makes the assumption that women are the only ones that are involved in drama.”

7. “Smile! (I’m always amazed at how many men have pictures of them frowning or not smiling.)”

8. “With online dating, you need to find the right balance between chatting online and having real-life experiences. If you go too long chatting, you can turn into a pen pal.”

9. “Have a good, recent photo. Don’t have pictures of your cars or other trophies and don’t crop out former significant others and leave behind a hand on your shoulder.”

10. “Don’t limit yourself to finding true love in a 5 mile radius. Your soulmate may live further away than that.”

11. “Say something! Don’t keep sending hearts or smiley faces.”

12. “When approaching a woman, don’t start out with a compliment on her physical appearance, or just say hi or hey. Comment on something in her picture, but not her looks, or comment on something in her profile that caught your eye.”

13. “You aren’t trying to impress another man, you’re trying to impress a woman, which means, you might have to show a softer side. A slimy fish photo might not be the best thing to use in your profile.”

14. “Don’t start out by calling a woman sweetie or beautiful. Until you get to know someone that comes off as just another line.”

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15. “Start a general conversation and go from there.”

16. “Don’t talk too much about yourself at first. Ask about her.”

17. “Be kind, be understanding, and above all be yourself.”

18. “Always end your conversations with a question to show you’re interested and want to continue talking.”

19. “Be strong and confident enough to know what you want and go for it.”

20. “Don’t text or email excessively. Exchange a few messages then ask about meeting. Coffee or a drink is best.”

21. “Asking for more photos is a turn off. Don’t do it.”

22. “Get to know her, and what she likes and dislikes. You want to build a friendship with her that builds up your relationship.”

23. “Make the first move by saying something fun and/or interesting.”

24. “Women are just as nervous and scared as men. Just talk to us like you would anyone else.”

25. “Take good pictures, ask me questions to get to know me better, make me laugh, and be open.”

26. “Never walk away from a conversation even if it’s online. Just tell her you have to go and talk later.”

27. “Be yourself from the very beginning. When you try to impress someone, your true self gets lost and that might be what the other person really wants.”

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28. “Don’t be afraid to tell a woman how you really feel about something. There is nothing wrong with having an opinion and she will appreciate the honesty.”

29. “Give her a second chance if she’s shy.”

30. “Talk and chat like you’re hanging out with a friend at first.”

31. “Don’t look at a woman’s dating profile a million times and say nothing. Even hi is good if you’re at a loss for what to say.”

32. “Consider someone you might not usually be attracted to.”

33. “Approach online dating with an open heart. Everyone is a new person.”

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